you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
