My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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