at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
