p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
