its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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