My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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