Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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