it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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