There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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