I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
