Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
