I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
