Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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