You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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