dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
