just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
