She announced her abortion via fbk
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
