Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
