Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I can text with my tongue
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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