Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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