i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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