Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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