ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
