I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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