discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
