Someone shit on the floor
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
