I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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