do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
