yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Do vagina's smell?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Randomize
