If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
