Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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