You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
