This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
