I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
