did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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