dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
