If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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