I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Randomize
