pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
