could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
