Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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