She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize