Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
