i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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