He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
