one might say we're banned from that church
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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