champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
