enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
