Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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