I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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