He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize