i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
