sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
