I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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