none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
