I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
love makes seman taste better
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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