Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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