this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
someone owes me an orgasm
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
