it was like having sex with a tree stump
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
