Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
