He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize