I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
