Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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