I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
